Towards the end of last week I officially passed the halfway point of our first pregnancy. For the first time on this entire journey I was hit smack in the face with fear and uncertainty over entering the world of motherhood. What am I doing?!
After a fair amount of crocodile tears, long hugs from the hubby, and a good bit of rest, I am proud to say this “momma to be” is ready to persevere. Although I am only halfway through pregnancy, and not even close to mastering motherhood, my mind is flowing with what I would like to call “Gut Lessons.”
These are the moments, great and small, this growing abdomen of mine is teaching me. It is my sincere prayer to finish this pregnancy, and finish it well. So, in honor of NCIS, and Special Agent Gibbs (my husband and mother-in-law should be proud) I wanted to share a few things my “gut” has taught me so far. I’m sure there will be more “Gut Lessons” in the days to follow. Here’s today:
1. I am not in control. –Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart. -Jeremiah 1:5a.
Nowhere within this verse does it tell me that I am the one forming our baby. It is the Lord who is forming our little man. It is the Lord who already knows him and has set him apart. I have never been accused of having to be in control, in fact, I prefer others to have control because I can’t stand the pressure. But, in the midst of carrying this precious child, I have begun to feel an extreme need for control. Admittedly, this is not the best time to begin desiring control.
A time where I cannot seem to control much of anything, fatigue, emotions, weight gain, do I need to continue? Oh the irony! Praise the Lord, HE has control of me and this precious unborn life.
2. Family First. –A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value…Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. -Proverbs 31:10-11, 28
A wife of noble character is not described as a woman who sits around worrying about tomorrow, complaining of today, and crying over yesterday. Her husband and children value her because she cares for them. These past few months have shown me first hand what an affect my choices have on my husband and my child.
Everything from food cravings (choosing nutrients for our little man) to exercise (seeking to keep a positive mood for my husband) all have a HUGE affect on my family. Part of learning to put my family first is taking care of myself in the ways that matter. The Lord has entrusted me with some guys who need me and I desire to seek Him first in order to meet the daily needs of my family.
3. I am NOT alone…–Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked before us. –Hebrews 12:1 (Note: Take some time to read this passage in its entirety and rejoice in the life, death, and resurrection of our Savior!)
“You are alone…” This lie presents itself to me in a variety of ways on a regular basis. It has chosen to creep it’s way in at inopportune times over the past several months. It is a daily choice to place myself in situations to counteract this falsehood. The Lord uses a variety of relationships as well as truth from His Scripture to help me combat this terrible distraction. I’m not the first to be found shaking in her boots at times over stepping into the world of motherhood, and I will not be the last! What a blessing to run this race alongside others and learn from those who have gone before.
4. Remember to breathe. –“Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Embrace the quiet moments, be intentional at finding ways to truly let your mind rest, be still, and be OK being still. I know there will come a day when I will long for time to sit and breathe. However, at times resting can be quite the difficult task. Aint nobody gonna be doing any good if I keep running and forget to breathe. Today’s a gift, may I seek to enjoy it and breathe through it.
Here’s to being halfway to somewhere…I’ll let you know next time this ‘ol gut speaks!